- Susan Fletcher, Ph.D.
Shifting Our Perspective
We are in what appears to be the beginning of the stress of COVID-19. Stay-at-home orders are in place and families with parenting plans due to divorce continue to be faced with the need to examine their role as parents.
As parents, we are preparing children to have the skills they will need as adults. As parents, the task is to parent rather than put children in the middle of coparenting conflict. When divorce occurs, too many parents fixate on the opportunity to have conflict and judgement of the other parent at the expense of their children. Too many parents attempt to regulate the parenting of the other parent when it is really at the expense of your own ability to be a healthy parent for your children.
When there is conflict, focus on the children and parent them so they develop a healthy ability to adapt, communicate, emotionally regulate, and manage the transition of divorce. That is the role of a parent when a marriage has ended. Role model and teach children to cope - not to criticize, spy, or attempt to regulate the other parent.
You are raising the parents of your grandchildren and have the opportunity to provide them with healthy relationship skills.
This opportunity is available to parents every day. With COVID-19, the opportunity is even more important. When a parent in conflict changes the focus to parenting, instead of attempting to change and regulate the other parent, the outcome is better for children, benefitting generations to come.
Until next time,