I get asked this question all the time: “How does divorce interfere with the ability of children to love in their own relationships as adults?”
Gosh, that is such a big question. I always try to answer it. Typically I answer with this information:
Their adjustment to divorce depends on how he or she has coped with other changes in their lives. A child’s ability to adapt, in general, is one consideration in how well that child will cope with divorce.
Temperament is also one of the influencers of how a child is able to love in their own relationships as an adult.
The amount of chaos and the amount of conflict can interfere with a child’s ability to progress developmentally. That certainly is another influence on later relationships.
Oh – there are more answers I give based on my education, experience, and the gobs of longitudinal studies that have been done.
How nerdy of me.
Recently I stumbled upon a better answer to the original question. I want to pass it on to you – out of the mouth of someone who is a child of divorce. This blogger hit the nail on the head in terms of her experience as a child of divorce and how she experiences love differently.
You need to read her blog post if you are:
A parent who is divorced
A parent in the process of divorcing
A parent who is thinking of divorcing
An adult whose parents have divorced
You are dating someone whose parents have divorced
Read her words and she will help you understand How You Love Differently When You are A Child of Divorce.
A child of divorce can love – they just love differently.
Knowing this can help. Let me know what you think, even if you disagree, by emailing me at DrFletcher@FletcherPhD.com.
Until next time,