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  • Susan Fletcher, Ph.D.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships (Part 1 in a 4 Part Series)

Do you wonder if you are in a healthy relationship?

First, let's get one thing straight. It is not the relationship that should be evaluated to see if it is healthy. It is you who needs to ask yourself, "Am I healthy in this relationship"?

As I kick off this 4 part series about Healthy Relationships, the first goal to put on your checklist is this:

To have a clear sense of self in close proximity to your important partner.

Okay, great. Now it really sounds like I'm talking like a psychologist. But you get it. Ask yourself this:

"Am I being loyal to myself in this relationship?"

"Am I being absorbed and losing my own identity in this relationship?"

"Do I have a clear sense of my own self - reserved for me and adding value to this relationship?"

These are very important questions you need to ask yourself.

If you ask a satisfied couple married for many years what it is that helps keep them together? From most couples, you will hear the following:

"She never ceases to amaze me."

"I still am surprised by him."

When a couple starts to be able to predict what the other will say or do, then that is when satisfaction will go down. It's not true that a person is so predictable. What is true is that a relationship can get so mundane that it is impossible to see the "new".

To be healthy in a relationship, it is important to see the "new".

Make sure you come back to the blog for the second part of this four part series on healthy relationships.

Enjoy your Fourth of July and I'll send you an email next Friday to remind you about this four part series so you don't miss a thing.

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