• Susan Fletcher, Ph.D.

How to Help Others Trust You


One of the most unbelievable examples of lack of trust occurred last week when a Texas mother was arrested for, allegedly, letting her kids play outside unsupervised. The story gained national attention and I was asked to comment on it on the local FOX 4 channel.

Here's the footage:

In this case, there was lack of trust among the police, the mother and her neighbor. Obviously there is more to this story, but it's important to know that trust is attainable in any relationship at work and at home. To stay in the Smart Zone and strengthen the platform of trust use these Smart Moves:

  • Be predictable, caring and faithful. Don't be moody because that makes you unpredictable. Being caring and faithful will help you build loyalty.

  • Address and right the wrongs. Blaming others is one of the fastest ways to burn yourself in the trust department. Do what is necessary, even when it inconveniences you. If it's your responsibility, fix it.

  • Be loyal to others when they aren't present. People will trust you when they have confidence that you can be trusted when they aren't present, and that may not happen until they experience you behind the backs of others.

  • Be clear with expectations and hold people accountable. When supervising people be deliberate about the outcomes you are expecting and, when possible, make them measurable or set timelines.

  • Build your self-regard. Self-regard is how you see yourself and how others see you. It isn't self-esteem. Your self-regard is what lets people know whether they can trust you to accept feedback, manage criticism, and be honest with them in return.

  • Demonstrate respect for those you work with. This is one of my favorites on Stephen M.R. Covey's list of the 13 Behaviors that Earn Trust. One-sided respect in relationships is temporary and delicate, yet over time it builds into respect that is reciprocal.

  • Follow through on your commitments. People can smell insincerity when a commitment is not followed through. When you have the reputation that you can't be trusted to do as you say, you face a hard uphill climb.

  • Be the same in public and in private. When people can count on you being the same in private as you are in public, they'll trust you to be who you say you are. They'll also trust that what you say today will be consistent with what you say tomorrow.

If you are interested in booking me to speak at your meeting or conference please contact Zan Jones.


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